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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

You know you've been in IB too long when...

-“I think therefore I have a headache…”
-You haven’t studied for American History all year, and the week before semester finals you think “Why should I start now?”
- It rains and you place the umbrella over your bookbag instead of yourself.
- The “due” date becomes the “do” date.
-TOK essays are now the easiest of tonight’s homework.
-You make graphs of your grades to chart your progress (or lack thereof).
-You’d go into severe spasms if you ever lost your day-runner.
-Teachers have actually said the following words to you : “Do your Extended Essay draft, TOK essay, lab-books, read those five books for Polish, write the Philosophy GCW, do the remaining thousand hours of CAS… and have a nice summer holiday!”
-You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.
-You’ve sold your soul to a teacher… for a C… for the semester.
-Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as “creativity” and walking your dog as “activity”, and your teacher approves it.
-You have a special “test writing sweater” that you wore to all the IB exams.
-Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework.
-You can count your last quiz grade on one hand.
-You wonder if there’s Coles Notes on the Calculus book.
-You don’t really cheat-you just tell people the answers.
-You have the library on speed dial.
-You’ve developed an imprint of your book bag in your back.
-Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.
-Your books weigh more than you do.
-Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.
-You plead insanity on a research paper.
-You have a Coles Notes Preferred Customer Credit Card.
-You forgot about that pesky Extended Essay thing until the night before it was due.
-You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
-Your backpack is only comfortable when it weighs 30 pounds.
-You have convinced your parents the “1” you received on your IB Physics exam was really the “top 1% of all IB students worldwide”.
-You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time to gain that “upper edge” on the rest of the class (or your arch-rival)
-Your home becomes a “home away from home”.
- Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, “And they lived happily every after. Amen.”
-You get into a slugging match over priority for the library photocopier.
-You plagiarize from Coles Notes for the “What is Truth?” ToK paper.
-You actually worry about the 98% you have in math.
-You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework. -You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.
-You are 18 but can’t drive.
-You have 15 library cards each under a different alias.
-The librarians know you so well that you don’t even have to go to the front desk of the library to check the book out.
-You’ve read most of the books in your library, and have a written report on over 3/4 of them!
-You exceed the 4000 word limit on the Extended Essay.
-The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.
-You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in December.
-It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.
-You carry around vocabulary flash cards to whip out in your free time.
-You can list all 5 definitions on vocabulary tests.
-The saying “When I graduate high school” has been replaced with “If I ever graduate.”
-When you are home sick, you can’t help but wonder what work you’re missing and what your homework is.
-When you’re watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.
-You find yourself spelling words out on scantrons. You are deeply saddened when you can only find one letter of “IB SUCKS!”
-During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-82 and get the highest score in the class.
-You firmly believe that “learning by osmosis” is a credible form of studying.
-Classes become so difficult that you look forward to your enjoyable ride on the C-Train.
-You find yourself saying: “did you see that special on the learning channel last night?”
-You come into school at 7:30am to do Math Extension- willingly.

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